>> The Switch
>> Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
>> The Other Guys
>> Salt
>> Inception
>> Cyrus
>> The Last Airbender
>> Grown Ups
>> Toy Story 3
>> The Human Centipede

Opening 9.10.10
>> Resident Evil: Afterlife (R) [trailer]
>> Bran Nue Dae (Limited) (Not Rated) [trailer]
>> Heartbreaker (Limited) (Not Rated) [trailer]
>> I'm Still Here (Limited) (Not Rated) [trailer]
>> Legendary (Limited) (PG-13) [trailer]
>> Lovely, Still (Limited) (PG) [trailer]
>> The Romantics (Limited) (PG-13)
>> The Virginity Hit (Limited) (R) [trailer]

Coming To DVD/Blu-Ray 9.7.10
>> Supernatural: The Complete Fifth Season [buy]
>> The Office: Season Six [buy]
>> Smallville: The Complete Ninth Season [buy]
>> Jillian Michaels: Shred-It With Weights [buy]
>> Criminal Minds: Fifth Season [buy]

Las Vegas: Satan Vacations Here
by Victoria Alexander
January 23, 2006

The NBR Awards, Mary-Kate on “W”, Bhutan, The Panchen Lama, The Prayer Burn, The New Hulk, The Hidden Iman, Larry Wachowski aka Lana, Buck Angel, and more...

The NBR Awards. TDH’s New York correspondent, Chuck Walker, reports on the exclusive (no press or photographers allowed) prescient NBR Awards. Chuck writes: “The National Board of Review Awards were handed out on January 10th to a nearly SRO crowd at New York's festive Tavern on The Green. Despite a very funny new M.C., Paul Reiser (“Mad About You”), moving things along as fast as he could, the ceremony dragged on until 11:30 P.M. before Jane Fonda accepted her Lifetime Achievement Award. Reiser's funniest moment was when he got to GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK which won Best Film. Reiser announced that since George Clooney was way too blessed by looks, power and talent, in a last minute decision, the NBR decided to give the award to THE DUKES OF HAZZARD. Clooney looked dapper having shed the 30 pounds he put on for SYRIANA.

“Fonda used a cane most of the night. Philip Seymour Hoffman had his mother and his posse in attendance as he accepted the Best Actor Award for CAPOTE. Ang Lee was humble accepting for Best Direction (BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN) and Felicity Huffman seemed truly ecstatic she won Best Actress for her star turn as a man getting ready for a sex change operation in TRANSAMERICA. Almost everyone else spoke too long. Where's the Academy Awards orchestra to quicken up the “thank you’s”? But the booze was flowing so no one really seemed to care in this New York film insider lovefest. Truly, this is what the Academy Awards would look like if there were no cameras and the stars got to drink and have fun.”

Chuck was having too much champagne (as FilmsInReview.com’s editor Roy Frumkes told me) to report to TDH on the following blind item that ran in the New York Daily News called ”Don't Shoot the Messenger”: “Which emaciated actress was grinding her teeth so hard while presenting at the National Board of Review Awards that the crowd was making bets how much booger sugar she had loaded up on before the ceremony?”

Mary-Kate Olsen’s Cover for W Magazine. What do you think was the reason fashion bible “W” put Mary-Kate Olsen on its January cover but hid her face? Then, just as insulting, the photo accompanying the profile story also hides M-K’s face with a mess of hair. Poor ugly M-K. All that pre-teen money, a Greek heir boyfriend “stolen” by Paris Hilton, and no acting career. However, her well-paid management company did get one of her eyes on the cover of “W” and half of her face on the inside story detailing her impact on fashion. Does anyone know how much it costs to buy a cover of “W”?

The Kingdom of Bhutan. The official website for the deeply religious Buddhist Kingdom of Bhutan notes that in 2004 only 6,261 tourists were allowed in the Kingdom (and of that number only 2,025 tourists came from the U.S.). The country has deliberately isolated itself from visitors, and has only recently opened up to the outside world. Our week in Bhutan was unblemished by any other tourists, beggars, or shopkeepers hell-bent on selling us trinkets. Luckily, we were in the country on December 17th which is Bhutan’s National Day (commemorating the accession of Gongsar Ugyen Wangchuck as the first king of Bhutan to the throne) and attended the capital city’s grand festival. It was also the day that the fourth hereditary and the current King Jime Singye Wangchuck (born in 1955, he became king in 1972 at the age of 17) announced to his shocked kingdom that in 2008 he would abdicate in favor of his son, the Crown Prince, HRH Dasho Jigme Khesar Namgyal Wangchuck.

In 1989, it was made compulsory for citizens to wear national dress in public; the men wear a gho (I now have 2), a robe resembling a dressing gown with upturned white silk cuffs and knee-high socks; the women wear a kira, a sari-like garment worn over a wraparound skirt (I now have 2). Two pairs of embroidered custom-made boots worn by Bhutanese men for festivals are now part of my Las Vegas wardrobe.

The King is beloved, especially since he believes in his country’s “Gross National Happiness.” Under the King’s decrees (“It’s good to be king”) Bhutan has outlawed the sale of tobacco products and banned smoking in public places. Plastic bags are outlawed. Giant phalluses are painted on house walls in order to ward off evil spirits (I wonder if I told my community association I had converted to Buddhism I could paint a giant phallus on my front door? See below for a typical Bhutanese house painting.) Dogs are regarded as being the highest animal life form with the best chance of being reborn as humans so they are treated with reverence and run freely everywhere.

Television came to Bhutan in 1999 and all 699,000 Bhutanese are expected to have electricity by 2020! There are no traffic lights in the capital city of Thimphu or the second largest city, Paro. There are no street signs and no one has an address. Major palace-hotels are being built, so expect some of the tourist restrictions to be eased. Right now, going to Bhutan is quite expensive since the King has imposed a $200 per day requirement on all visitors.

(Photo of His Majesty King Jime Singye Wangchuck and his four Queens, all sisters is on the right; a photo I took on National Day is on the left.)

The 11th Panchen Lama Re-emerges! We were in India on December 22nd when the Chinese-selected 11th Panchen Lama performed a ceremony attended by thousands of worshippers. Beijing chose Gyaincain Norbu when he was six years old to be the 11th Panchen Lama, the second-highest spiritual leader in Tibet, after rejecting another boy picked by the exiled spiritual leader the Dalai Lama. Now 16, Gyaincain Norbu, who was rarely seen in public before, was shown on state television blessing worshippers in a ceremony marking his enthronement at the Panchen Lama's residence. On Sunday, just 10 days after the enthronement ceremony, Gyaincain Norbu held another "head-touching" ritual to bless lamas and other Buddhists in the residence, the Tashilhunpo Monastery in Shigatse City. We visited Tashilhunpo Monastery when we were trekking in Tibet in June 2005. On right, the Panchen Lama.

Remember when the Catholic Church had two warring Popes? Gyaincain Norbu is not recognized by His Holiness the Dalai Lama, who selected six-year old Gedhun Choekyi Nyima in 1995 as the11th Panchen Lama. Since 1995 the boy has been missing. There is a $24,445 reward for information about Gedhun and a Missing Poster that says “Have You Seen This Boy?” According to the Chinese government, Gedhun and his family are in protective custody since 1995. The Dalai Lama considers Gedhun to be a political prisoner being held under house arrest somewhere in China.

The Prayer Burn. The prayer burn is a highly noticeable mark on the forehead indicating Islamic piety. The prayer burn is most distinctive on the forehead of the CIA’s number two thorn, Ayman Al-Zawahiri. Once again Al-Zawahiri is in the news. He has released a poem after a fumbled CIA strike failed to kill him. The U.S.’s “Rewards For Justice Program” is still offering a reward of $25 million for information leading directly to the apprehension or conviction of Al-Zawahiri. Last week’s blundered airstrike did kill 18 villagers including three men said to be al Qaeda leaders. The dead were a son-in-law of al-Zawahri; an expert in explosives and poisons who carried a $5 million U.S. reward on his head; and the third man was al Qaeda's chief of operations in Afghanistan's eastern Kunar province.

Whoever snitched made $5 million but now his clan must face the wrath of Al-Zawahiri. I say expect a vicious reprisal after Osama bin Laden’s offer of a truce is mocked. As analyst Peter Bergen reminded CNN News, bin Laden is a deeply religious man and according to Islamic law, he must make such an offer before an attack. In part Bin Laden said: "The delay in similar operations [9-11] happening in America has not been because of failure to break through your security measures. But the operations are happening in Baghdad and you will see them here at home the minute they are through (with preparations), with God's permission.

"We do not mind offering you a long-term truce with fair conditions that we adhere to. We are a nation that God has forbidden to lie and cheat. So both sides can enjoy security and stability under this truce so we can build Iraq and Afghanistan, which have been destroyed in this war. There is no shame in this solution, which prevents the wasting of billions of dollars that have gone to those with influence and merchants of war in America."

I say it’s a decent proposal. Let bin Laden have our trillion-dollar per day money pits and negotiate a good deal on Iraqi oil.

Punishment for Killing “The X Files.” I hope he’s happy now after killing the best show on TV. Former X-Files star David Duchovny is set to become the new Incredible Hulk after actor Eric Bana (“Munich”) pulled out of the sequel project. Duchovny is the frontrunner to play the green giant in “The Incredible Hulk 2.” Bana declined doing the sequel when he discovered the plan was to release the film direct to DVD. Duchovny, doing voice-over work for dog food and video games, should have been grateful for the great character of Fox Mulder.

Waiting for the Hidden Imam. The Hidden Imam is the Messiah-like figure of Shia Islam. The Jamkaran mosque in Iran is a popular pilgrimage site where the pious come to drop messages to the Hidden Imam into a holy well. All streams of Islam believe in a divine saviour, known as the Mahdi, who will appear at the End of Days. A common rumor - denied by the Iranian government but widely believed - is that Iran’s president Mr. Ahmadinejad and his cabinet have signed a "contract" pledging themselves to work for the return of the Mahdi and sent it to Jamkaran. Iran's dominant "Twelver" sect believes this will be Mohammed ibn Hasan, regarded as the 12th Imam, or righteous descendant of the (face covered by a veil in the painting at left) Prophet Mohammed.

Mohammed ibn Hasan said to have gone into "occlusion" in the ninth century, at the age of five. His return will be preceded by cosmic chaos, war and bloodshed. After a cataclysmic confrontation with evil and darkness, the Mahdi will lead the world to an era of universal peace. This is similar to the Christian vision of the Apocalypse. The Hidden Imam is expected to return in the company of Jesus.

The Hidden Imam and Jesus together! I can’t wait! They will knock Tom & Katie and Brad & Angie off our front pages!

“V for Vendetta” Director Larry Wachowski aka Lana. With next month’s $50 million-plus film “V for Vendetta” opening, the media has once again turned its attention to the once-named Larry Wachowski, the co-director/writer of the blockbuster “Matrix” movies. Rolling Stone magazine has an article about Larry that delves into the BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism) world where he was a prominent fixture. The article is fascinating. Here is a brief roundup:

At L.A.’s “The Dungeon” Wachowski was a frequent slave. He liked going there dressed as a woman. The article continues with a blow-by-blow (pun intended) account of Larry’s involvement with L.A.’s highest-profile dominatrixes, “a tall, imposing blonde with a traffic-stopping figure who used the nom de kink Ilsa Strix” (born Karin Ingrid Winslow in 1967). Ilsa ran The Dungeon with her handsome and strapping partner Buck Angel, a partial female-to-male transsexual known n the porn world as "The Dude With a Pussy."

Ilsa had been married since 1998 to Buck Angel, a woman who, for $6,000, had surgeons remove her breasts and had her chest expanded, via testosterone injections, to the size of a muscular man's. From below the waist, however, Buck is female. According to RS, “Buck’s forearms are massive, his head bald, his entire body inked with tattoos. Also an avid "player" in the S&M underground, Buck is partial to leather jackets, cowboy hats, aviator sunglasses and good cigars.” (Larry and Isla on right; Buck Angel on left.)

Buck is bitter and very, very angry that Ilsa left him for a multi-millionaire. He wanted her to stay in their run-down shack and keep whipping people for money. Larry’s ex-wife Thea Bloom is also angry (like she didn’t know a thing!). Thea got a lawyer to end her nine-year marriage to Larry (legal documents relating to his divorce and his new San Francisco home identify him as "Laurenca Wachowski"). Instead, Buck got the media. Buck told the media about one of Larry’s first visits to The Dungeon: "I saw Larry dressed in panties, nylons and a wig, with full-blown makeup. He was lying there very much at peace, looking very, very happy.” Sources in the Los Angeles BDSM community told RS that “Ilsa Strix was not the first "pro dom" that Larry Wachowski visited.”

So now the rumor is that Larry has had the sex-change surgery. He’s got to go out sometime. Where are the photos? Where are the cell phone photos of Lana in a wig at the supermarket? What kind of sexual relationship is Lana having with Ilsa? Will Lana become a dominatrix as well? Will Ilsa become an actress? Why didn’t anyone mention that Larry dressed like a woman on the set of the three “Matrix” movies? What did Thea put up with for nine years?

Isn’t it swell to have lots of money and do whatever the hell you want?

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