>> The Switch
>> Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
>> The Other Guys
>> Salt
>> Inception
>> Cyrus
>> The Last Airbender
>> Grown Ups
>> Toy Story 3
>> The Human Centipede

Opening 9.10.10
>> Resident Evil: Afterlife (R) [trailer]
>> Bran Nue Dae (Limited) (Not Rated) [trailer]
>> Heartbreaker (Limited) (Not Rated) [trailer]
>> I'm Still Here (Limited) (Not Rated) [trailer]
>> Legendary (Limited) (PG-13) [trailer]
>> Lovely, Still (Limited) (PG) [trailer]
>> The Romantics (Limited) (PG-13)
>> The Virginity Hit (Limited) (R) [trailer]

Coming To DVD/Blu-Ray 9.7.10
>> Supernatural: The Complete Fifth Season [buy]
>> The Office: Season Six [buy]
>> Smallville: The Complete Ninth Season [buy]
>> Jillian Michaels: Shred-It With Weights [buy]
>> Criminal Minds: Fifth Season [buy]

Las Vegas: Satan Vacations Here
by Victoria Alexander
May 1, 2006

John Lennon From the Grave, Who Wrote Your Book?, Is bin Laden’s Summer Blockbuster Coming?, Bistro Zinc, Celebrity Good Works or Briliant PR?, Imperial Palace’s Hawaiian Luau, The Trifecta of Evil, and more...

WARNING: This installment of The Devil's Hammer does contain some nudity.

John Lennon Speaks! Last Monday, after paying $9.95, the gullible heard from the former Beatle from beyond the grave. The On Demand program, “The Spirit of John Lennon," relied on what is described as Electronic Voice Phenomenon, or EVP. EVP is based on a belief that spirit voices communicate through radio and TV broadcast signals. EVP is getting a major upgrading – even I’m doing it – and is now called Instrumental TransCommunication (ITC).

John spoke about “peace.” He didn’t have a clue where bin Laden is hiding, when another terrorist attack will hit the US, or the sex of Angelina Jolie’s baby, and for that he only had one of two choices!

My newest theory is this: I have been to the “Spirit World” (I saw street signs but didn’t take notes) many times. So, since I found a torturous way to reach them, perhaps some from “over there” have actually found a method of communicating with us – now that we are all wired up. Perhaps the people I encountered are trying to convince others of my existence. I’ve been sending messages and formulas ever since I decided I needed to step up to the plate, stop complaining about contactees and mediums getting nothing of value from aliens and dead people, and start sending Spirit World folks some information that might be of help to them. I’m also sending prophecy.

“I left the world with the aid of another world.” The Gospel Of Mary Magdelene. (17:1)

I like the democracy of ITC. Anyone can get a message. You don’t have to be chosen as an UFO alien sex-mate, or psychic from birth, or undergo a NDE (Near Death Experience) and have Jesus tell you “Go back, you have work to do for Mankind.” All you have to do is turn your TV to a channel broadcasting “snow.”

Imperial Palace’s “Hawaiian Luau.” It’s “The South Pacific on the Strip.” On Tuesday, thanks to the organizational skills of Imperial Palace’s Pat Getter (I loved the parting gifts!), the usual tribe of journalists joined the revelers for the opening night festivities for Imperial Palace’s “Imperial Hawaiian Luau.” This marks the 15th straight year of IP’s extravagant Polynesian Revue that includes a lavish island dinner buffet. The packed gala started at 6:30PM and went well into the night once the eating commenced and the fire-knife dance began. There even was hula lessons for the brave. Emcee Rozita Lee and the sexy dancers encouraged guests to participate.

Luau show times are Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday with doors opening at 6:30 and the Island Buffet beginning at 7:00PM. VIP Seating is $54.95 for adults and $41.00 for children. Preferred Seating is $39.95 for Adults and $20.00 for children. General Admission is $33.95 for adults and $20.00 for children. The Shangri-La pool deck is the setting for the Luau and will end the season on October 28th. Call 888.777.7664 for more information or visit www.imperialpalace.com.

Bistro Zinc. On Thursday, I took the scenic route to MonteLago Village at Lake Las Vegas to renowned restaurateur chef Joseph Keller’s newest dining concept, Bistro Zinc. I can never pass up an invitation to the exclusive village that is Lake Las Vegas. Bistro Zinc is situated at a prime location overlooking the gorgeous lake and has a warm and friendly ambience complimented by seductive jazz music. The menu features American cuisine with French influences.

Bistro Zinc offers breakfast, lunch, dinner and late-night menus. Along with their Oyster Bar Bistro Zinc’s menu consists of fresh seafood creations flown in daily. Their signature dishes include Beef Bourguignone, Chicken Pot Pie, Café Crepes, Po Boys, European style Pizzas, Seasonal Salads, and Lobster Etouffee. We tried the fresh baked breads and pastries the Bistro’s small bakery prepares daily. While Bistro Zinc has a large array of specialty drinks and a large wine collection, they serve my favorite Riesling.

Is “The Trifecta of Evil” trying to Upstage Mission Impossible 3? Last Sunday Osama bin Laden issued new threats in an audiotape broadcast on Arab television. He accused the United States and Europe of supporting a "Zionist" war on Islam by cutting off funds to the Hamas-led Palestinian government. He also urged followers to go to Sudan, his former base, to fight a proposed U.N. peacekeeping force in Darfur.

The fighting in Darfur began when rebels from black African tribes took up arms in February 2003, complaining of discrimination and oppression by Sudan's Arab-dominated government. At least 180,000 people have died - many from hunger and disease - and 2 million people have been displaced. The United Nations has described the conflict in Darfur as the world's gravest humanitarian crisis. The United States has described it as genocide.

Bernard Lewis, in his book, “Race and Slavery in the Middle East: An Historical Enquiry,” comments on the lucrative slave trafficking in Danfur. It was a slavery hub! On page 72 Lewis recounts a Tunisian traveler who visited Darfur at the beginning of the nineteenth century. According to this man, certain rich people had farms for five or six hundred male and female black slaves, solely for the purpose of breeding children for sale like “sheep and cattle.” Darfur was also well known as one of two major sites for castrating black slaves since eunuchs – castrated between eight and ten years old – were sold for double the price.

In the tape, bin Laden said: "I say that this war [on Islam] is the joint responsibility of the people and the governments. While the war continues, the people renew their allegiance to their rulers and politicians and continue to send their sons to our countries to fight us." In his last message, bin Laden offered the United States a long-term truce but warned that al-Qaida soon would launch a fresh attack on American soil. bin Laden must be bluffing, say U.S. spokespersons, since no new attacks on the United States have occurred.

On Monday, I saw a press screening of “United 93.” See my review on rottentomatoes.com. I have received over 100 emails from “Silent Hill” game players rudely condemning my review even though I was one of the few critics who gave the movie a “Fresh: Highly Recommended” RT rating. I know what kind of emails critics who hated the film got. I didn’t like “Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers” and my computer crashed.

On Tuesday, the leader of al Qaeda in Iraq, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, released a rare video. Zarqawi, who has earlier issued his messages via audio recordings, was also shown training with a group of masked men outdoors.

According to a U.S. military official, al-Zarqawi’s video is "an act of desperation." Maj. Gen. Rick Lynch, at his weekly press briefing last Thursday, said the military believes "that is indeed Zarqawi in his final hours."

Egypt has drawn a blackout over last week’s suspected al Qaeda suicide bombings and shooting attacks occurring in rapid succession in the Gaza Strip, Sinai and Egypt.

Friday, “United 93” opened nationwide.

Then on Saturday, al-Qaida's No. 2 - Ayman al-Zawahri - released a video message claiming the U.S. military has "achieved nothing but loss, disaster and misfortune." Al-Qaida in Iraq "alone has carried out 800 martyrdom operations (suicide attacks) in three years, besides the sacrifices of the other mujahedeen, and this is what has broken the back of America in Iraq," al-Zawahri said.

Is there a connection between these series of messages coming in rapid succession? Is it merely saber-rattling and – as we are being told - just “a propaganda blitz?”

After all, the Trifecta of Evil is still on the run.

Who Really Wrote Your Book? Many of my friends have actually written their own books! There is a new publishing scandal since lionized Harvard University student Kaavya Viswanathan admitted plagiarizing another popular teen-lit book. Viswanathan’s first novel "How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild and Got a Life" netted her – as a 17 year-old - a reported six-figure two-book deal and movie rights acquired by Dreamworks.

Here is the real shock: Maybe Viswanathan didn’t write the book at all and now she has to accept the blame for stealing from another author! “Opal Mehta” went through extensive “packaging” (plot, content, structure, characters, words) by a firm called 17th Street Productions before being sold. According to a former insider at 17th Street, a standard contract with 17th Street requires “a healthy chunk” of an author’s advance. In Viswanathan’s case, her advance was $500,000. How much of the advance? Up to half, plus a cut of royalties. “Packaging” is a big business whereby a team of indentured staff writers and freelancers write someone’s book for them. Okay, but Viswanathan put her name on the book and had accepted all the accolades without doing the thinking and typing. Did she even read the final draft?

Did Viswanathan’s lawyer read the book contract she signed? Most book deals include clauses that the writing must be original, according to Justin Hughes, the director of the intellectual property law program at Yeshiva University’s Cardozo School of Law. Obviously, “most” does not mean every single one.

Viswanathan’s parents used IvyWise to help their daughter get into Harvard. At the time IvyWise charged $10,000 to $20,000 for two years of college preparation services, spread over a student's junior and senior years. IvyWise also has a platinum package which is now over $30,000.

On Thursday, Little, Brown and Company, which printed Viswanathan's book in the US and Britain, asked retailers and wholesalers to take it off their shelves and return it to the publisher.

Celebrity Good Works or Brilliant PR? George Clooney was widely rumored to be the man who recently broke lonely “Desperate Housewives” Teri Hatcher’s heart by being a cad. According to her Vanity Fair cover story, some famous leading man movie star seduced Teri then dropped her right before Valentine’s Day! Last week Clooney washed away that bad press by going to Washington urging help for Darfur. And, Clooney gained Celebrity Merit Points (“CMP”) by giving his Oscar swag bag to charity. A spokesperson for The United Way announced that Clooney’s gift bag sold for $45,100.

Just wondering: Was that a tax write-off for Clooney?

Wasn’t the recent episode of “The Sopranos” wild with Christopher being snubbed by Sir Ben Kingsley (who passed on his “The Godfather meets The Ring” script idea) and then punching Lauren Bacall in the face and stealing her $30,000 swag bag? 81-year old Bacall is said to want a return bout since she was sucker-punched.

After Angelina Jolie’s lesbian lover Jenny Shimizu told all the intimate details of their 10-year ongoing relationship, Jolie fired her agents. She then took part in a much-publicized conference call in Namibia regarding universal free education for African children.

To counter the naked photos that ran in the UK tabloids (see below) that accompanied the lesbian stories about her, Jolie had to appear in photos in Africa with Brad and her children. Finally, she talked about her humanitarian work in Africa with “The Today Show’s” Ann Curry. Angelina told Curry she doesn’t talk about her relationship with Brad.

Remember when Angelina bragged at a red carpet event that she and Sling Blade just had sex in the limo? What about the creepy details about their padded sex room and Old Man Sling Blade’s virtuosity in that room. Angelina couldn’t quit talking about the honor of being his love slave.

Now isn’t it time for Kevin Costner to do some high visibility charity work to wash away the fact that he was publicly named as the movie star who masturbated in front of a masseuse while on his honeymoon?

The Daily News Blind Item: Don't Shoot the Messenger. From “Gatecrasher”: “Which allegedly hetero Hollywood leading man celebrated his birthday with a gay ménage à trois? The story comes with another report that he gives his hookups strict instructions about how much he's allowed to be touched.”

I don’t have a clue about this one, but now every Hollywood leading man’s recent birthday celebration is in question.

Jarhead End Quote. “Brokeback Mountain’s” star Jake Gyllenhaal has shocked American Gulf War veterans by joking they did nothing but "masturbate" during their time in the desert in 1991. He said, "The US soldiers were sent to the desert for 122 days and they sat in the same tent and did nothing, except a little too much masturbating."

If you would like to contact me about this column, or be included on my private distribution list for a weekly reminder, just email me at Masauu@aol.com.

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