>> The Switch
>> Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
>> The Other Guys
>> Salt
>> Inception
>> Cyrus
>> The Last Airbender
>> Grown Ups
>> Toy Story 3
>> The Human Centipede

Opening 9.10.10
>> Resident Evil: Afterlife (R) [trailer]
>> Bran Nue Dae (Limited) (Not Rated) [trailer]
>> Heartbreaker (Limited) (Not Rated) [trailer]
>> I'm Still Here (Limited) (Not Rated) [trailer]
>> Legendary (Limited) (PG-13) [trailer]
>> Lovely, Still (Limited) (PG) [trailer]
>> The Romantics (Limited) (PG-13)
>> The Virginity Hit (Limited) (R) [trailer]

Coming To DVD/Blu-Ray 9.7.10
>> Supernatural: The Complete Fifth Season [buy]
>> The Office: Season Six [buy]
>> Smallville: The Complete Ninth Season [buy]
>> Jillian Michaels: Shred-It With Weights [buy]
>> Criminal Minds: Fifth Season [buy]

Las Vegas: Satan Vacations Here
by Victoria Alexander
March 19, 2007

Lucky Strikes Lanes, Oasis Movie Club, Polly Esthers Nightclub, Roseanne Barr, Buddha Boy Vanishes Again, Grindhouse’s NC-17?, “What Love Is” VIP Screening and more...

Movies this Week. It’s been a busy week of screenings with “Premonition” (passing up “I Think I Love My Wife”) on Tuesday, “Shooter” (passing up “Pride”) on Wednesday, and “Dead Silence” at a 10PM showing on Thursday and the VIP screening on Saturday of “What Love Is”.

Get Lucky with Kristin Cavallari. Just because I do not bowl doesn’t mean I am an anti-bowling elitist. Lucky Strike Lanes opened inside the Rio All-Suite Hotel & Casino on Thursday, March 15 with Kristin Cavallari of MTV’s Laguna Beach fame on hand to christen the event.

The New York Post’s Page Six reports that Kristin Cavallari got a new tattoo of her boyfriend’s initials on her wrist, so everyone knows she’s taken. I guess this means they will be together forever.

Complete with a 10-lane bowling alley and full-service restaurant and bar, Lucky Strike Lanes is the newest addition to Sin City’s growing catalogue of entertainment venues. Open seven days per week from 11 a.m. until 3 a.m., Lucky Strike Lanes promises to be a high-octane environment perfect for people of all ages.

During the day, Lucky Strike offers something for everyone – a bite for the family in the 156-seat restaurant, a drink with a date at the 25-seat mahogany bar, a game of bowling for the kids or a diversion for everybody on four flat-screen plasma televisions. Then, after dark, Lucky Strike morphs into a nightlife hotbed, complete with bowling, bar and beats. It’s got all the energy and excitement of a nightclub – but it’s completely different from anywhere else in town.

Kristen bowled with her friends, took photos with fans and appeared to be having a great time. I saw magicians Nathan Burton and newcomer Hans Klok (his show opens with Carmen Electra next month at the Aladdin). Jeff Beacher and his cast of characters stopped in to promote the launch of Beacher's Unprofessional Bowling Association (BUBA) which starts Monday. I’ll be at BUBA’s grand opening. http://www.harrahs.com/casinos/rio/casino-misc/lucky-strike-detail.html

Polly Esthers Nightclub. Polly Esthers had its VIP grand opening on Friday evening from 6 to 9PM at the Stratosphere Hotel & Tower with Deborah Gibson hosting.

Polly Esther’s, the wildly successful national nightclub chain, has brought its trademark disco balls, DeLoreans and Doc Martens to the Stratosphere Hotel Casino. The sprawling, 1,300-capacity Polly Esther’s comprises four unique clubs — Culture Club (80s music), Nerve Ana (90s music), Suite 2000 (current club music) and its namesake (the funky 70s music) — each celebrating the best of the past 40 years of pop culture.

On top of playing the best music of each era, club-goers are immersed in the signs, symbols and icons of the decades.

Covering 26,000 square feet — one of Vegas’ largest nightclubs — Polly Esther’s features cutting-edge sound and lighting, multiple bars and dance floors, and even a risqué interactive experience, “Birdy’s Bachelorette Party,” produced by the creative minds behind smash-hit “Tony n’ Tina’s Wedding.”

There is a “Back to the Future” DeLorean suspended from the ceiling and O.J. Simpson’s infamous white Bronco, complete with slow-in-pursuit police cars, in Nerve Ana. Polly Esther’s is open Wednesday through Sunday nights. For more information or table reservations, visit Polly Esthers or call 702.889.1980.

Roseanne Barr at New York-New York. Roseanne’s touring show, “All You Can Eat Comedy” opened at the Cabaret Theatre at New York–New York on Friday, March 17 at 8 p.m. The show runs until April 30. The schedule includes an additional show Saturday at 10 p.m. and is dark on Wednesdays. Tickets priced at $49.95, not including applicable service charges and taxes, are now on sale and can be purchased at the Zumanity Box Office at New York–New York. Tickets also can be purchased by calling (866) 606-7111 or online at Roseanne Barr at New York - New York Hotel & Casino.

Bin Laden, The 9/11 Mastermind Pretender? Is bin Laden merely the presumptive 9/11 mastermind with a $50 million bounty of his head? Osama, you can leave the cave! We caught the guy responsible in 2003! And now he’s talking.

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed , the 9/11 self-proclaimed mastermind, confessed to also being behind the Kennedy Assassination (he was one of The 3 Tramps - see below), Marilyn Monroe’s death, Hurricane Katrina, the success of “Borat,” and other attacks including personally beheading American journalist Daniel Pearl. Mohammed confessed to having a central role in 30 other attacks and plots in the U.S. and worldwide that killed thousands of victims.

Acknowledging the impact of YouTube.com, YourCNN.com, and cell phone videos, Mohammed is proud to relate that there is confirmation: "For those who would like to confirm, there are pictures of me on the Internet holding his head," he said.

"I was responsible for the 9/11 operation from A to Z," Mohammed said. He is now at the U.S. detention facility at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Mohammed was captured in March 2003 and has been in a secret detention system run by the CIA for the past three years.

Quoting “The Islamic Art of War,” Mohammed said: "The language of the war is victims."

Mohammed also took credit for plots to kill international leaders including Pope John Paul II, President Clinton, Paris Hilton, and Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf. He also gave his wish list for planned attacks against Disneyland, the Sears Tower in Chicago, the Empire State Building and New York Stock Exchange in New York City, the Panama Canal, and Big Ben and Heathrow Airport in London — none of which happened. Yet.

Those Embarrassing Mug Shots and Staged Capture Photos. Terrorists and FBI Most Wanted! Please, please comb your hair, take a shower, wear a shirt, and shave! You are being hunted!*

Join Shawn Lane’s “Comic Oasis Movie Club Program.” Good friend Shawn of http://www.LasVegasMovieInsider.com is offering her subscribers a membership in the newly formed “Comic Oasis Movie Club.” Membership is $25 per 6 month period to cover administrative fees. You get advances notices of promotional screenings and special events, “members only” screenings and guaranteed screening passes held in your name when you RSVP.

No waiting on that long line or picking up passes all around town. Here is one of the perks of joining Shawn.

On Saturday night I went to the Brenden Theatres at The Palms for the Red Carpet event for “What Love Is.” Johnny Brenden presented star Cuba Gooding Jr with the Brenden Celebrity Star.

The event was attended by stars Cuba and Matthew Lillard (woe to us, there will be a Scooby Doo 3!) and Big Sky investors. Also in attendance was wheelchair bound (a skiing accident or too many Bloody Marys?) Mars Callahan (the co-producer, director, writer, and star – but he didn’t sing the closing song!). I met Mars a few years ago when his film, “Poolhall Junkies,” screened at the CineVegas International Film Festival. (I still wear my “Poolhall Junkies” T-shirt). The after-party was held at The Palms newest club, Moon.

Callahan permits Lillard – who cannot be directed - to attack his soliloquies of woman-hating venom with a vengeance. He spits, yells and shocks his frightened co-stars into silence and blank stares.

Buddha Boy’s R&R. A Nepalese teenager hailed as a reincarnation of the Buddha has vanished for a second time in southern Nepal, a member of his support committee said.

Ram Bahadur Bomjam, 17, who shot to fame in 2005 when his supporters said he had begun a meditation session that would go on uninterrupted for years, went missing again. "He suddenly disappeared from his meditating site in the jungle of Bara," said Raju Shah, a member of the committee set up after the boy became a local media sensation.

"He told his priest Indra Lama that he would meditate somewhere in other undisclosed locations." Local media dubbed Bomjan "Buddha Boy" after supporters said he had been meditating for months without food, water or sleep, and tens of thousands of people flocked to see him. He first disappeared in March 2006, telling his supporters the site had become too crowded.

I heard Bomjan fled to Sri Lanka and is fronting a hip hop band.

Homoerotic “300”? My family teases me that I see homoeroticism in every movie. I always defend my homoerotic subtext interpretation in my reviews but now I have acknowledgment from the source. “300’s” director Zack Snyder comments in Entertainment Weekly (March 16, 2007).

“God-king Xerxes offers King Leonidas peace in exchange for ‘submission’ has a decidedly sexual undertone. Synder says that’s not accidental, that it’s intended to make young straight males in the audience uncomfortable. “What’s more scary to a 20-year-old boy than a giant god-king who wants to have his way with you?”

Grindhouse. Have you see the trailer for Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez's tribute to the ultraviolent, nudity-drenched pictures called “Grindhouse”? The picture opens on April 6 and may carry the dreaded MPAA NC-17 rating. "Grindhouse" is two short movies - one directed by Tarantino, the other by Rodriguez - with an intermission between them. During the break, a series of fake trailers will be shown for such fictitious titles as "Werewolf Women of the SS," directed by Rob Zombie. In one scene, a cute, topless girl is roughly tied down on a table by evil female Nazi experimenters who begin draining her blood and, as she screams in agony, they brand her like livestock with a coal-hot steel swastika. And every girl in the Nazi concentration camp is topless. Another trailer, directed by Eli Roth, of "Hostel" fame, is called "Thanksgiving," in which a town's celebration of Turkey Day is interrupted by a mad slasher.

We are living in a time when people are strapping bombs to their bodies and blowing themselves up taking as many others with them as they can. Could an NC-17 fantasy movie really be detrimental to our youth? If not now, when do we start nurturing our own home-grown ruthless warriors?

Robert Downey Jr on His Friend Mel Gibson. Downey, on movie screens chewing up the scenery in “Zodiac,” has this to say about his friend Mel Gibson (pictured, mug shot) in the March issue of “W” magazine. “Downey rails against what he views as self-righteous criticism that Hollywood reaped on his friend. “I really didn’t know that we had 8 million morally sound people in this town,” he says sarcastically. “Wow, I really didn’t know that. I guess I’ve been dining at the Ivy with, like, living saints.”

*Photos of The Unabomber’s mug shot and Saddam and Pablo Escobar’s capture.

I asked Stephen Thorburn (pictured) to work that photoshop magic for me in creating “The Three Grassy Knoll Tramps.” Please join Stephen’s MySpace and blog. http://www.myspace.com/stephenthorburn

If you would like to contact me about this column, or be included on my private distribution list for a weekly reminder, just email me at Masauu@aol.com.

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